Hi friends! I want to continue on with the subject of extra baggage. But this time I want to talk about other people baggage. When we have friends, we often think it’s our responsibility to help carry their baggage because that’s what friends are for, right? I mean we share all sorts of things with our friends. Secrets, clothes, food, money, and hobbies. So why not share our emotional baggage, right?
I mean since you put most of your bags down that made room for theirs! Right? Wrong! Please don’t pick up other’s either because it will only drain your positive energy. For example, I used to have a friend who was having relationship problems. At first I was ok with being her shoulder to cry on because that’s what friends are for. But, despite being a shoulder to cry on, I wanted her to also start thinking of a soultion to Conquer her problems. Just continuously crying on my shoulder wasn’t helping anything. She never wanted to hear advice or think of solutions, she just wanted to complain and complain. Or, she would lie and say she would start doing the solutions, but didn’t. I guess I was supposed to be just the ” listening” ear. She wanted me to cry with her and to feel her pain daily. She would talk on the phone with me daily for hours with her poor me. It got to the point where she was hinting at her moving in with me so we could be two miserable women crying together! She even wanted me to start down talking my husband because if she wasn’t happily married why should I? We were supposed to share heartache and bash men together! Since we were friends, she felt like I was supposed to share her problems. I literally started to feel like I was drowning in her problems. The next thing she started complaining about was family issues. Her mom, sisters, brother! Still no talk of solutions. She started handing me all her bags one by one!
Sadly, when I saw that she didn’t desire a solution, and she thrived on the drama, I had to let her go and give all of her bags back.
As a friend you are not there to continuously support their drama. You’re there to help bring about a solution. You’re supposed to uplift each other. Be the one to tell your friend to put their baggage down. If they don’t want to, you will find yourself carrying their emotional burden. After they are finished crying with you, they will leave feeling a little bit better, but you will be stuck feeling their negative energy! Especially if they start putting negative ideas into your head about your own life. And then when they need you again, they’ll come back and dump more negative energy on you. And trust me, it rarely ends. I checked in on her 2 years later, and nothing changed with her. She was with another guy complaining about the same thing😬😆! You’ll notice that people who thrive on drama keep the party going forever. No matter how much money you give, how much advice,or how much support you lend, it’s never ending! So please, if your an empath like me, Run!!!!😆
Give them their bags/ problems and let them move on!
Betcha didn’t know!🙈
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